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I'm too anxious for that and seeking joy would only make me disappointed and sad. I can be happy, though, and glad or amused. I can also have fun and feel great, satisfied and proud. To experience true joy, I think I would have to have wings and be able to fly.
I do believe, though, that joy is somehow a choice. But most second hand designer bags of the time, my choice is powerless. The Spirit flues wherever it wishes. Sadness lasts longer than happiness, and time allows you to think. With time to reflect comes perspective, and this is when I understand that I had joy.

Don't Hesitateby Mary OliverIf you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy,don’t hesitate. There are plenty of lives and whole towns destroyed or about to be. We are not wise, and not very oftenkind. And much can never be redeemed.Still, life has some possibility left. Perhaps this is its way of fighting back, that sometimes something happens better than all the riches or power in the world. It could be anything, but very likely you notice it in the instantwhen love begins.
Simplicity and contentment are the keys to joy. My childhood was a nightmare of abuse, neglect and an almost constant sense of uncertainty. I was well into my adulthood before I ever even dared to question that I might be worthy of joy. I had never really known it and the closest I could get to it was a temporary absence of sadness and rage. In my 30's I started therapy and counselling.

There is also an enormous amount of 'Weltschmerz'. What are people doing to each other? To animals, to our lovely planet?
Talking to a total stranger, being wholly engaged with their story, and being reminded that there are traits humans possess that come from compassion and selflessness instead of greed and selfishness. It’s the simple joys that keep me “distracted” from all the chaos. I recently discovered that appreciating simple joys (and likely being distracted by them) was defined as atypical or a disability. I cannot fathom how finding beauty and appreciation of the things around us would bring on such criticism. Sometimes I go out into the garden and am amazed by the world going on there.
Now that my children are older I get my joy from the dog. Sad/predictable maybe but he lives fully in the moment in the way that they used to. He is a clingy breed, what they call a Velcro dog (wire haired Hungarian vizsla). He is super upbeat and I fully recommend.

The unique shared vibe- the live music experience. It's a special joy of being in that time and space, that once it's over, that's it. You've got to be 100% present, and everything else melts away.The joy of hearing a cherished song, never before experienced off the turntable and record, played live, like From Her to Eternity. How the past is there from when you heard it first, along with the present, witnessing it live, which makes time magical.
Those moments are individual, and don't mean the same to everyone. For me, moments of joy are fragile; like dew on the grass or in a cobweb, like a thin crust of ice or like a shade, a wind or faint scent. Some moments can be shared with others, while others require solitude.

The stories of the ancestors of the Bundjulung people relate to the journey of three brothers, survivors of an ancient flood who travel by sea and first land at Evans Head, south of Ballina. They split up because of arguments with one another, accidentally leaving their mother behind, and have to go back and find her. Eventually, they settle all along the Northern Rivers, including the mouth of the Richmond River where I live at Ballina. Reflecting on these stories has helped me to understand God’s saving presence in all times and places, and how God is ‘in all things’.
Being with her is like seeing my own childhood from a new perspective. It’s a beautifully strange and unique experience that I can’t replicate in any other way.I’ve also noticed that joy tends to show up when I make space for it, stepping away from the busyness of life. In quiet moments, when nothing is pulling at my attention, I can just be present with myself. Whether it’s a morning walk, sitting in a sunlit room, or simply taking a deep breath, those still moments give me time to reflect and reset. It’s often in that calm that joy finds me, almost like it’s been waiting for the right moment to appear.

For me, a notable experiential quality of joy is spontaneity. So my instinct is to not try and make joy happen, but rather be present with it when it comes. And yet as I ponder on joy, I realise that there are many layers of preparation that have enabled me to experience joy when it bursts and trickles through me.
Surrounded by such heart wrenching sadness, the smallest things give me joy. A beautiful afternoon in my back garden, a cup of coffee the perfect temperature on a cold morning, a gentle evening with my husband, not talking about much and just enjoying the evening, I find it in being present in my life and noticing the gifts. Weirdly, when things are going well, joy is more elusive. I find joy in the eyes of my daughter, in her touch and her laughs.
Sometimes we believe that in order to feel joy, we must encounter or achieve something extraordinary. We fear that by allowing ourselves to find joy in simple, ordinary things, we ourselves, our lives become ordinary. The more I learn to let go of that fear, the more joyful I find my life to be.P.S. Books are an endless source of joy.